Putrid Svengali Joe (father of the late, great Michael Jackson) raised his kids to dance and sing like nobody else – but neglected his fatherly Grail-selecting duties along the way. When faced with a selection of Grails Joe moonwalked his way to the shiniest Cup on the shelf and immediately began to spew innards and feces from his nose, mouth and tear ducts. The resulting sag-bag he now uses as a face is a constant reminder that plastic surgery sometimes is an option.

Jackson: He Really Liked That Dog
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