Royal trainwreck Liz was nicknamed The Virgin Queen – and it’s easy to see why she never lost her cherry, given her clearly grailified face. Elizabeth was a highly educated person, but clearly lacked the nous to select the right Grail when the moment came. Quaffing Sir Walter Raleigh’s piss from a sandcastle bucket, she transformed into a papyrus mockery of regality.
The Ist: She hopes her men didn't frighten you.
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